My Invisible Master
My name is Michelle. I am 35 years old today—the 7th of October 2003. I've decided to write to you today because I've been freed, freed by my invisible master. I'm taking a huge risk writing this, but I NEED to off-load!
Now, about my invisible master:
He first appeared to me when I was 6 years old.
One day, my mom took me out shopping. She left me alone to keep an eye on the shopping bags while she went to relieve herself in the supermarket loo. While standing there guarding the groceries, I heard a strong and deep commanding voice in my head.
“What are you doing here all alone, little girl?” The voice came from behind me.
I turned around. Standing behind me was this big ominous stranger. I was immediately captivated by his perfect black physique and shinny bald head. I was awestruck and couldn't move or say anything.
“I want to be your friend. Is that alright?” he asked politely.
I simply nodded and managed a weak smile. He stooped down to my level and kissed my lips. At that point, I wanted to cry because my mother had always warned me against men touching me. She said it was wrong. But I couldn't cry, I was too paralysed by his presence.
"I'm Albach, and you are Tracy," he said, rather confidently.
I was shocked that he knew my name, but I didn't say anything then. He said he wanted to be with me and would give me anything I wanted if I accepted him as a friend forever.
Right to this day, I have no clue why I felt compelled to accept. But I did, hence our friendship began.
When my mother returned she didn't even notice Albach standing beside me. I was astonished, but somehow I knew he was only for my eyes.
Since that day, Albach had been my invisible friend. He would play with me, protect me from everyone else, and introduce me to my body. He often told me how beautiful my body was, and that I should love it as much as he did. I was confused and didn't like talking about my body but Albach knew how to make me submit. He just had to put his finger against my lips and say “Sssssh”, and I would allow him to lead the conversation wherever he wanted.
As time went by, I became comfortable talking about my body with him. I treated it as a game. Albach never touched my body though, he only kissed my lips and face.
Once, when I was eight years old, I had a classmate over at my house. His name was Tim. We had an art project, and it was to build a cardboard house. Suddenly, Albach appeared. He looked angry. He didn't like me bringing a boy home but he didn't say anything then. I knew Tim couldn't see Albach, so I didn't talk to Albach either. Albach had always advised me against talking to him whenever other people were present. It would make me look crazy he'd say.
Soon, Albach went away and left us to our art project. Suddenly, I felt a strange desire to play with Tim the “game” Albach and I always played. I started to ask Tim very personal questions about his body. Tim was uncomfortable at first, but like me, he too got used to it. As we talked about the differences in our bodies, I became curious and wanted to see the differences. Tim, of course, was embarrassed. I don't know how I did it, but I managed to persuade him to undress. It seemed Albach had imparted a powerful persuasion skill to me.
Seeing Tim naked was strange at first. We giggled and didn't dare look at one another. After some minutes of embarrassment, Tim quickly got himself dressed and prepared to leave, but I manage to persuade him to stay on. I don't know how it started, but somehow we ended up kissing. I felt very aroused and wanted to do more but didn't know what else to do.
While we were still kissing, Albach appeared and was very angry at Tim. He grabbed Tim's neck, squeezed it, and shook him violently. Obviously, Tim didn't feel anything but I screamed hysterically for Albach to stop. My screams frightened Tim, and he ran out of the room. My screams had also attracted my mother, who thought Tim had abused me. She came running to me, and barred Tim from coming over ever again. I never defended Tim because Albach told me he would harm him if I did.
When my mother left the room, Albach pinned me down and stared deeply into my eyes. I knew he wanted to punish me, and he did. He told me to strip. I did. He told me to lie down. I did. Then, without another word, he kissed me. He kissed me hard, and it hurt, but I never made a sound because I thought I deserved the punishment for making him angry. Then he became gentle and started kissing my neck. I became confused at what he was doing. I thought I was being punished, but here he was giving me so much pleasure. I don't know if it was a psychological thing, but I started to cry. I felt I should cry when punished. Seeing me cry, Albach stopped, backed away, and vanished into the thin air. Of course he didn't vanish for good; he came and went for months since then.
At some point in time, my friends started to have boyfriends, but I remained single. There was no way for me to have a boyfriend with Albach hovering over me all the time. It was ironic actually—my friends had boyfriends but I was the only one among them who had ever seen a man totally naked, I often thought.
Al bach and I played a lot of games with our naked selves. Some of them I liked, while there were others which I didn't. I won't give details here, sorry. Sometimes I was scared thinking about the games. I always wondered what he would play next. I knew one day we would play “the” ultimate game, the game that would include opening my sacred door. But when?
I celebrated my sixteenth birthday party at my house. I had a lot of friends over, and we had a great party. When the party was over and everyone had left, I took a shower and crashed on my bed. All I wanted to do was sleep. But then, a white smoke began to form at the top right corner of my room. It formed into a human figure, and I knew it would be a long night.
I had no rights to protest against Albach and his needs. He pressed himself against me and asked me if I was ready. I could do nothing but nod. Intuitively I knew what he wanted and I willingly gave in to him. But Albach surprised me. He smiled and vanished—I really thought he wanted to kill my virginity. I was actually ready for it.
About six weeks later, on the 6th January of 1984, Albach was different. He had raging lust in his eyes. He had always done things to me, things that were paled compared to what he had in mind that night. He demanded that I give him "all" of me. I was afraid yet excited. I had always enjoyed the things he had done to me, and I knew that that day I was going to get the ultimate enjoyment.
Albach took me, he took every part of me, and he gave me every part of him. I was burning in pain, but the excitement made me yearn for more. He took me to the moon and back more than once and drowned me in ecstasy. I was only sixteen yet I had become a "full" woman. It was the best experience I've ever had in my entire life.
All the pleasure I gave Albach had transformed him into a raging bull—always lusting for my body. It reached a point where I just couldn't cope with his demands anymore. I became afraid of seeing him appear. I prayed that he would forget me, but he always came back. He had become my worst nightmare.
Before the day he took 'all' of me, Albach appeared once a week, and we'd talk, kiss, and do a little hanky-panky, but since we made the full blown love, he became very possessive and didn't want to leave me alone. He was there every second of my life. I wasn't free to talk to anyone without him eavesdropping. I didn't even have privacy in the toilet or in the shower. He would watch me, and sometimes, 'took' me right there in the shower. He would touch me whenever he felt like it, without regards to where I was or what I was doing. His surprise appearances were exciting at first, but I began to detest them later.
I remember one very embarrassing incident when I was in the tube[subway]. Albach suddenly appeared behind me and started groping my body. It was irritating at first but Albach always knew how to arouse me, and I lost myself. I closed my eyes, and before I knew it, I was helplessly moaning. When I opened my eyes, everyone in the train had their jaws down to the floor. Some people were frowning in disgust, some were giggling, and others were simply shocked. I heard someone say, “Gosh, she was playing with herself!” I was so embarrassed that I squeezed myself out of that car onto the one behind, and hopped off the train at the next station.
Embarrassing episodes like that were aplenty. I had had enough. I reached a state when the pleasure was only to have him leave. I was tired, really tired of Albach taking me whenever he felt like it. But no matter how much I resisted, I couldn't fight him off. He had the power to mould me in any way or form he wanted, anytime. I was stressed up to the point of hysterics. I even tried to kill myself, but as you've learnt, I was never alone and always under his spell, so even that I couldn't do.
Years passed, and I managed to live through the hellish times by focusing only on the good things he had done to me, and for me. I thought of the physical pleasures he had given me in the initial months. He also gave me what other girls could only have dreamt of at the time—my own car. Albach was instrumental in making my father inherit my old uncle's estate. With the money, my father bought me my first car at the age of eighteen. I asked Albach about it, but he only shook his head and pressed a finger gently on my lips. “Don't ask,” he whispered.
One time, my mother was seriously ill. She had caught some strange flu, and the doctors were unable to bring her fever down. If her fever had persisted, she would have suffered massive brain damage and died. I cried to Albach to do something. He listened patiently but said nothing. I cried desperately, thinking his silence meant he couldn't help my mother. But, five hours later, the hospital called and gave us a good news—my mother's fever had subsided and her condition was stable. She was no longer in danger of dying. I was so happy, but I felt deeply indebted to Albach because I knew it was he who had helped my mom.
So, my hell was a little better when I thought about the good side of Albach, but it was hell nevertheless. I lived through it day after day. I couldn't run away, I couldn't confide in anyone, and I couldn't even free myself by suicide. I felt so helpless and lonely. The only thing left for me was alcohol.
I turned to it when I was 22 and have not stopped ever since. I've managed to live in my 'prison' a little easier with the bottle. My health is so bad now that I don't have long to live. As a matter of fact, Albach knows this, that's why he's decided to free me.
YES! I did it. I managed to free myself from my 'Invisible Master.'
I am very pleased to be able to tell you my story. It is true, every bit of it. You may say I'm a 'psycho' and the whole 'Albach' thing is in my head. Well, I don't care. To me, it is real…VERY REAL!!!
But I'm not free from the bottle though. I believe I will die soon because my liver is badly damaged. But at least I can die in peace.